Cert U
105 mins
BBFC advice: Contains mild slapstick violence and very mild language
Tuesday night and I was determined to watch the Sky Blues...
No, not Coventry City - they were playing too far away, in London, so I plumped for the smurfs instead.
And before anyone responds with the obvious gag, I admit that I would have struggled to tell the difference between the cartoon characters and a fair few Coventry players over the years.
Anyway, this is what I wrote in my review of the first Smurfs' film: "Of course, it is not a good movie but it does just what it says on its big blue tin.''
Ditto Smurfs 2.
Although, I did sense from the sparse crowd at Nottingham Cineworld on Tuesday that even the under-fives' patience with the children of Father Abraham is running out.
In fact, it comes in way behind Monsters University and Despicable Me in the summer animation stakes.
And the paucity of giggles confirmed that the kids' agree.
For kids' cartoons I always feel rather conspicuous on my own, even if I do hide away at the front.
This is made worse during films, like Raja Gosnell's, which make no attempt to please adults or even teenagers.
Indeed, if you are over 10, you might as well take a pillow.
For what it's worth, the smurfs are in pursuit of smurfette who has been lured away by the evil wizard Gargamel and his two 'naughty' children.
The chase leads them back to good-guy, Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris), and his wholesome wife, Grace, (Jayma Mays) and then on to Paris.
But will they get there in time to stop smurfette giving Gargamel (Hank Azaria), a secret formula which would help him take over the world (I know, I know - it's mad)?
There are lots of slapstick gags and a bit of pathos surrounding Patrick and his stepfather (why did Brendan Gleeson sign up for this?).
However, it is all woefully predictable.
I could see the merit in the first film, despite its lack of ambition, but I struggled to see much in this.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 3/10