Cert U
70 mins
BBFC advice: Contains very mild language and threat
Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
I thought this could be the only review of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls on the internet but I have been proven very wrong.
In fact, my hat is doffed in the particular direction of Gwen Ihnat who, for a website called the AV Club, has gone into intricate detail how this movie fits in with My Little Pony culture.
I came across Gwen's review while carrying out a tad of research following my 70 minutes with Jayson Thiessen's film.
As one might imagine, the adventures of Twilight Sparkle are a tad out of my comfort zone and so I needed to brush up a bit.
What has become clear in the movie and, apparently, in My Little Pony world is that friendship is 'magic' and will defeat all obstacles.
Well, at least it will in the world of under-7 girls at which this is aimed (I'm not sure the Syrian crisis is likely to be overcome quite to easily).
I needed to mug up on My Little Pony because its plot left me a little confused.
It seems that Twiglight Sparkle (Tara Strong) is a pony princess in Ponyville but her new crown (I thought they were for queens?), is snatched by the jealous Sunset Shimmer (Rebecca Shoichet).
Shimmer then escapes through a mirror which transports her to a human world.
Twilight goes in pursuit and when she gets to the other side she's a girl rather than a pony.
She then makes lots of friends who look just like her pals in Ponyville (but they are girls and not ponies) and even have the same names.
And they help her try to become the Fall Princess of a school that she doesn't even go to so she can win her crown back and return it to Ponyville...
All I can say is that the Government have got it wrong if they think that under-7s in this country are not bright enough.
Frankly, Stephen Hawking would have trouble getting his head around that lot.
But, dare I say that My Little Pony: Equestria Girls really isn't that bad although I thought it probably belonged more on the CBeebies channel than on the big screen.
The storyline is a bit daft but I have seen sillier and the songs were good enough to have been sung by many a girl band I've heard over the years.
Fortunately, I had a DVD version so I didn't embarrass myself by turning up to the cinema.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none - the ponies are fully clothed.
Overall rating: 5.5/10