Cert 15
85 mins
BBFC advice: Contains very strong language
Miss W doesn't have the stamina of her parents when it comes to movie-watching so she decided to pick one from the three we had listed for Saturday evening.
She hadn't heard of We Are The Best, thought that The Love Punch was for old people (she was right) and so plumped for one of her heart-throbs, Tom Hardy, in Locke.
At the end of the film, she declared herself angry with Hardy for having signed up to "such a boring movie."
A minute later, a young couple who had been at the back of screen 6 during the film, walked up behind us and the chap asked me: "What did you think of that?"
We agreed that, despite all of its positive reviews, Steven Knight's picture is so dull it sent us to sleep.
Yes, this is a picture, which according to its publicity poster, is "one of the most nail-biting thrillers of the year."
This description made me wonder whether we had been watching the correct movie.
What I had seen was Tom Hardy giving detailed description, in a strange Welsh/Polish accent, of how to pour a huge amount of concrete, while driving on the M6 and M1.
Hardy plays a successful construction manager whose life falls apart on the journey to see the birth of his child to a one-night stand.
Because of his determination to do 'what is right', he confesses to his wife and leaves a huge concrete order in the hands of his subordinates.
This means that his motorway drive is punctuated by a catalogue of phone calls to avert disaster at home and at work and to the hospital where his child is being born.
This is quite intriguing for the first 20 minutes but then the calls go on and on and on... and when they occasionally stop Hardy's character screams vitriol at his invisible father.
I didn't get it and neither did Mrs W, Miss W and the couple who were sat at the back.
But, hey, what do we know.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 3.5/10