Cert TBA
89 mins
BBFC advice: TBA
I have never watched an episode of The Only Way Is Essex, I only saw Hollyoaks when it starred a girl who used to be at school with my son and I wouldn't know Kim Kardashian if she was sitting on my mum's sofa right now.
I also confess that full details of my 21-year-old daughter's rollercoaster ride down relationship boulevard is told to her mum because she knows her dramas will go over my head.
Therefore, never has anyone been less prepared than I was for Garry Sykes' Drunken Butterflies.
I guess it might have helped if I'd had an intimate knowledge of Newcastle, where it was filmed. I don't although I did recognise a real ale pub lurking in the background of one scene.
Sykes has taken the scripted reality genre and plonked it among a bunch of girls in Geordieland.
The push-me, pull-you nature of their 'friendships' reminded me so much of the conversations I have heard Miss W having with her mum.
There is back-stabbing and comforting in almost equal measure.
It is said that all is fair in love and war and never is the former more evident than with the teenagers in Drunken Butterflies.
Conscience goes out of the window when it comes to their relationships with each other and with the boys who cross their path.
They become even more hard-faced under the influence of drink and/or drugs which flow far too easily.
Drunken Butterflies was filmed over two weeks with a micro-budget and with a local Newcastle cast.
Their acting is very natural. Particular stand-outs are Lucy-Jayne Kelly as the queen bully's chief hanger-on and Katie Quinn as the girl who doesn't fit the party stereotype.
Sykes attempts to make the film more authentic by cutting to vox pops of teenagers giving their opinions of the characters. It is a neat and original move.
In summary, Drunken Butterflies wasn't my bag but I would accept it may appeal to younger people and had cinematic merit,
Director Garry Sykes: Vine clips, Mean Girls, Dogma 95 films, ‘scripted reality’ TV like TOWIE, silent movies, A Clockwork Orange, The Wanderers. We wanted to throw it all together and come out with something we hadn’t seen before.
Reasons to watch: If you are into Hollyoaks, TOWIE or reality-style movies about teenage relationships.
Reason to avoid: If you are a middle-aged bloke and don't understand any of the above.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: very briefly
Overall rating: 5.5/10