Cert 18
95 mins
BBFC advice: Contains strong bloody violence, gore
What should I have done while sitting in a hospital car park, waiting for my mum to have her appointment with her eye consultant.
Easy. I flicked on my ipad where I had already downloaded Jon Watts' horror movie Clown from itunes.
Sadly, it transpired that the manner in which the picture found its way on to the screen was more interesting than the movie itself.
It was developed as a result of Watts and Christopher D. Ford placing a trailer for a fake movie called Clown on YouTube.
The trailer which purported to be for an Eli Roth movie about a killer clown attracted Roth's attention and he decided he wanted to produce a real film based on the spoof trailer.
I can see why. This is the sort of gory horror movie upon which Roth has made his name. Sadly, it is awful.
Clown surrounds the story of an estate agent (Andy Powers) who finds a discarded clown get-up which he uses as part of a routine at his young son's birthday party.
The problem is that he can't take it off and nor can he remove his red nose and multi-coloured wig.
Oh, and gradually the clown is turned into a demon who not only kills children but also eats them.
Yep, it's every child's Clown nightmare turned into reality.
However, the film's premise is far too far-fetched, so engaging with the movie is difficult even in its early stages.
When the blood and gore really starts to flow, it merely becomes an exercise in trying not to be sick.
I have no idea why audiences watch this type of movie. In fact, I was hoping they were dying out.
Apparently, not if Eli Roth has anything to do with it.
Eli Roth: "My deal with Jon (Watts) was: if you can make this for a low budget then we will have total creative control. You can do it however you want and you can cast whoever you want. I am going to get you the money and I’ll have final cut which means that you’ll have final cut.”
Reason to watch: If you are into the sort of gore which Eli Roth endorses
Reasons to avoid: Stomach-churning and weak story
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: yes
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 2/10