Cert 12A
103 mins
BBFC advice: Contains moderate fantasy violence, infrequent strong language
Seventh Son lasts 103 minutes and for its almost entire duration I hadn't a clue what Jeff Bridges was saying.
It appeared that Bridges had been to the same dispensary which handed out cotton wool to Marlon Brando for the Godfather.
His atrocious mumbling was just part of the problem with a film which Mrs W and I watched in IMAX at Nottingham Cineworld.
Let's be honest. Seventh Son is a mess of a movie despite boasting Bridges and Julianne Moore among its cast.
Actually, Bridges has made some pretty duff choices over the years on his CV but I really can't fathom why Moore had anything to do with this.
She plays a wicked witch who is on the cusp of bringing darkness to the world but can only be stopped by wizened old Bridges and his apprentice (Ben Barnes), who is the seventh son of a seventh son.
The latter line up against the shapeshifter Moore and her acolytes who have an uncanny ability to turn into an array of beasts from dragons to leopards.
Sergei Bodrov's picture is little more than a collection of CGI battle scenes, a few bouts of verbal fisticuffs and the weakest of romances between Barnes and the seemingly omnipresent Alicia Vikander (this is the fourth time I have seen her in a film in as many months).
In my view, the worst a movie can be is boring but that is exactly what Seventh Son was. I couldn't have cared less whether the characters lived or died and the special effects left me cold because I have seen the like so many times before.
Mrs W yawned in agreement.
Jeff Bridges: "Julianne (Moore) and I just a ball doing this together. I guess there is an element of play - playing with cool kids and the cool make-up and clothes and props."
Reasons to watch: The exciting special effects
Reasons to avoid: Its bland storyline and the letdown despite an impressive cast
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Ovaerall rating: 4/10