Cert 12A
106 mins
BBFC advice: Contains moderate violence
Any regular readers of my movie warblings will have sussed that there are certain types of film which heavily resonate with me and others which just bounce off.
Historical martial arts films fall into the latter category.
I have seen so many but none of them match the quality of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and even that left me a little cold.
Hou Hsiao-Hsien won best director for The Assassin at The Cannes Film Festival although I have read reports that some audience members walked out.
I would never do that but I might have fallen asleep.
For me, The Assassin gets off to a bad start because you have to spend two minutes reading a prologue to explain its background.
I cannot remember what I had for breakfast so the challenge of working out why the various factions were fighting and who the good and bad guys and gals were was a real tester.
It appears that Hsiao-Hsien had worked out that his audiences might be confused so much of The Assassin comprises of politicians wearing very elaborate Chinese period costumes, shouting at each other.
While giving each other verbals, they sort of explain what is going on between the court and a rebel Chinese province.
But while those hungry for power are trying to strengthen their position around medieval conference tables, a pretty young lass (Shu Qi) has been appointed to bump them off.
Yes, The Assassin is a fleet-footed beauty who slays corrupt government ministers. If only the fashion had prevailed worldwide for the following thousand or so years.
Anyway, there is lots of sword-clashing, high-kicking and people flying through the air with incredible grace.
It's all easy on the eye but, ultimately, I didn't care at all about the plot and felt the acting was over-wrought.
But I would be the first to agree that I may not be the ideal judge.
.
Reasons to watch: the intense fight scenes
Reasons to avoid: its dull plot line
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 5/10